You know you’re a lit nerd when one of the highlights of your week is playing “Shag Marry Avoid: Literary Edition” with your tumblr followers.

je-joue-loup-garou answered: Hmm, the last Aureliano Buendia, Captain James Hook, and Angel Clare. This could be interesting… ;)

Captain James Hook of “Peter Pan” fame?
And Aureliano Buendia the father of 17 illegitimate children?

Oh dearie, dearie me…

*An interval whilst Emily deliberates*:
Right. Aureliano would clearly be a good shag. But then, I’d imagine the others would be too. I couldn’t marry Angel Clare, because he’d abandon me on our wedding night after finding out an unfortunate truth from my past. But could I really spend the rest of my life in holy matrimony with a man obsessed with ticking crocodiles? I’d be more likely to shag Hook… but then I’d have to either marry or avoid Aureliano… OH MY GOD THIS IS FREAKING DIFFICULT.

Shag: Aureliano Buendia.
Avoid: Captain James Hook.
Marry: Angel Clare Buy some cats.

riotgirl678 answered: Sherlock Holmes, Mr. Darcy and Bilbo Baggins

Ooooooh! This one is nice and easy.

I would SO shag Sherlock Holmes. What a babe! :’)

Marry Mr Darcy. Unsurprisingly, as I like to think of myself as something of an Elizabeth, and he can sweep me into his wet-shirted arms… *goes off into a slightly perverted daydream*

So I’d have to avoid Bilbo Baggins. Again, I’m okay with this.

feelingnonfiction answered: Oliver Mellors, Gabriel Conroy, J. Alfred Prufrock

I’d obviously shag Mellors. Hell, after reading “Lady Chatterley’s Lover”, I feel like I already have.

Somebody knows about my obsession with “Dubliners”! *eventhoughTheDeadistheoneIliketheleast*
Therefore, I’d marry Gabriel, because like me, he’s not exactly a social butterfly, and I could imagine we’d get along nicely.

So that leaves me avoiding J. Alfred Prufrock. I’m not too upset by this.

captaindragon answered: Pavel Antipov, Julius (Daphne du Maurier), Hindley Earnshaw

I’d marry Pasha (see, I have a pet name for him already) because he’s quite cute… even if he does end up a bit of a bastard… but he was cute to his wife, goddamit -.-‘

I’d probably have to shag Earnshaw… Marriage to him would be unbearable but he’d be a pretty good screw, methinks.

And… avoid Julius.

nowwilldojustfine answered: Steerpike, Mr Thornton, George Emerson

Right… this is… tricky.

I’d probably have to shag Steerpike. Could marry him - too creepy - but I reckon he’d be an alright shag.

I’d probably marry Thornton - because that way, my surname wouldn’t change. Although my father’s name is also John Thornton… so that may be a bit weird…

And I’d have to avoid someone, so Emerson shall be avoided.

honeyforthehomeless answered: henry chinaski, billy pilgrim, dick diver

I shall confess now: I had to read the wikipedia page on Henry Chinaski, as I’ve never read any of Bukowski’s work. *makes mental note to do so as soon as possible*

So I guess I’ll have to avoid him.

I’d probably marry Billy Pilgrim, simply because he’s friendly and would tell me interesting stories about the Tralfamadorians.

And shag Dick Diver because I’d imagine he’d be good at that, but marriage to him is… well. Complicated.

connoisseurofcluelessness answered: Ronald Weasley, Holden Caulfield, Edward Rochester :)

Oooh, I quite like this one.

I’d marry Mr Rochester. Nom. Screw Bertha up in the attic, everyone has their flaws.

I’d shag Ron Weasley, simply because I’d imagine he’d be a good screw, but his personality would drive me insane. I almost said Mr Rochester, but then I realised that if I was married to him I could shag him as often as I liked.

And that leaves Holden Caulfield to avoid. I can’t really say this is a hardship - I’m not really a big fan of “Catcher in the Rye”, and I thought he was whiny and irritating.

bookstorevixen answered: Humbert Humbert - Raskolnikov - Moriarty

Oooh, that’s NASTY!

I’d have to avoid Humbert Humbert. Sorry, but he’s disturbed and frankly revolting. I don’t think I’m his type, anyway.

I’d probably shag Moriarty. There’s something sexy about his evilness… something of a literary bad-boy. Though I’d prefer Holmes ;)

So I guess that leaves my husband Raskolnikov. Oh my dear Lord. Still. Better than Humbert Humbert. *shudders dramatically*

jmlanham answered your question: Anyone fancy a game? 
Charles Darnay, Dr. Jekyl, Remus Lupin. GO.

Hrm… I’d have to shag Charles Darnay. Because… well. Wow.

I’d marry Remus Lupin, because he’s quite sweet and I’d imagine he’d be nice to live with. Unless he tries to leave me like he tried to leave Tonks. Then shit would go down.

I suppose I’d have to avoid Dr Jekyll then. Probably best - he’s too unpredictable.

Ha, that was FUN! ^^

Anyone fancy a game?

Shag, Marry, Avoid: Literary edition.

You send me three literary characters, and I’ll tell you which one I’d shag, which one I’d marry, and which one I’d avoid.

BRING IT.